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文书解析 | “吃货”如何申请进哈佛?

2020-05-26 15:29:05 来源:江博教育 作者:江博教育

想象一下:如果你是色盲和音盲你会选择烹饪吗?哪怕你分辨不出来哪个是绿色、哪个是红色,你还会选择做饭来取悦自己吗?如何从食物写到哈佛呢?作者是一个对烹饪超级热爱的人,在克服了自身弱点的情况下,能够做出非常具有创造力的食物,让招生官惊叹并获得录取。他在文中很清楚地表达了他在追求烹饪达到完美而获得的快乐,而且在人生中他也会有同样的态度。

My aim is creation. I love the idea of giving life to nothingness. Were I another person in another time, I might spend my whole life tilling the land. Just like the earliest farmers, the sight of dirt giving rise to carrots and tomatoes at my whim feels like a miracle. I like to randomly burst out in song. I like to shake my body. If I could I would be a pianist and a poet and a painter and a politician. Unfortunately, in all these disciplines my ability can't meet my enthusiasm. Where I can create, and break tired codes, is in the kitchen. With unlimited time and resources I would become the best pastry baker and the finest chef in all of the eastern seaboard.

I really like food. On some drab school days I cheer myself up thinking of the dinner awaiting me in the evening. Often I do a 24-hour fast to ready my stomach for a huge meal. Now, being served this food is fine. It's usually restful and rewarding to sit down after a long day to someone else's careful work, whether they be parents, grandmothers, or Little Caesar. But I've noticed a dull glaze in the eyes of those who cook every night. They're doing it not to forge the uncreated conscience of their race, as a hungry James Joyce might say, but out of sometimes love and sometimes duty. I know cooks whose "old standbys" wow me every time, but they haven't any pleasure in their labors. Care and duty are NOT why I want to explore food.

I love the whole culinary process, from seedling to grocery to refrigerator to oven to table. At each stage the elements grow more complex and my work far more deliberate. Peeling and coring an apple takes more intellect ion than planting a row of seeds. Yet I think I shine where order fades away: beyond rules and recipes, in that zone called It's Up To You. I decided to throw in a cup of yogurt instead of butter to my pound cake. No one told me that lentils, carrots, and a bay leaf would make a great salad. I just felt them together. And there was a unanimous vote -- me -- to add cumin and coriander to the spaghetti sauce. Sizzle. Bubble. The creation is imminent.

Someone like me needs to stand over that stove. I need to see the joy in my eaters' eyes when they say, "This is really good! How'd you do this?" Their simple joys are my creative release -- the critical acceptance of newness. In life and in the kitchen, I want to be the best in my field.

点评:

1、语言言简意赅、用词精准;

2、突出鲜明的个性特点;

3、语言富于变化;

4、中心立意让人过目难忘。


用词部分

1、burst out:突然起来,突然说出,爆发。这个词能精准得突出作者唱歌张口就来的功底。

2、culinary: 厨房的;烹调用的

3、lentils:n. 小扁豆( lentil的名词复数 ); 小扁豆植株。

4、coriander:n.胡荽;胡荽的果实


语言解析

1/My aim is creation. I love the idea of giving life to nothingness.

开头就点出自己的创造力,尤其是给nothingness 赋予生命这点更让人充满好奇


2/I love the whole culinary process, from seedling to grocery to refrigerator to oven to table. 

作者这里有总说也有分说,从播种到收获到冰箱储藏到餐桌几乎涵盖了所有过程。


3/No one told me that lentils, carrots, and a bay leaf would make a great salad. I just felt them together. And there was a unanimous vote -- me -- to add cumin and coriander to the spaghetti sauce. Sizzle. Bubble. The creation is imminent. 

这里说了好几种常见的食物,超级棒,能够充分引起招生官的兴趣和共鸣。Sizzle, bubble 都是象声词,给读者身临其境的感觉。 The creation is imminent.又再次呼应开头的创新。


4/Their simple joys are my creative release -- the critical acceptance of newness. In life and in the kitchen, I want to be the best in my field.

在这里作者做到了首尾呼应,写出了自己创新不仅在生活中也在厨房里,做了最后的升华。

 

民以食为天,在申请季我们需要观察身边的一切,从身边做起,一餐一食一饮都要认真考虑和对待。不要觉得身边的细节打动不了招生官,从这篇录取哈佛的文书里不难发现:真情和真心永远是打动别人的利器!

 

特别鸣谢江博留学文书顾问张玮伟老师

 

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