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文书解析 | 文书是生活体验官的汇报书

2020-05-08 10:17:46 来源:江博教育 作者:江博教育

你是否也曾穿上帅气西装,头发梳成大人模样?也曾仰望偶像,狂奔向他/她的方向?也曾痴迷一种字体,不断模仿?还是躲在人群,希望和大家一样?生活太抽象,我想为自己定制一个形象。本文的作者告诉你:不,你不想。

 

做为一位萨克斯风手,作者在演奏的过程,让自己的生命得到了表达、延展和绽放。萨克斯风激发了作者对自己多样性格的认可和对多元生活的反思,促使他去尝试更多的新鲜事物,充盈自己的头脑。这才是萨克斯风之于作者的价值所在,这才是每份生活体验的意义所在。阅读本文,你会看到一位尽情生活、拼命体验的年轻人。他刷新学科定位,打破生活边界。其“跨界”与“融合”的生活方式,也为周围的人和事带来积极的影响。

 

生活有多少可能性?这取决于我们自己。欣赏一幅画、听一支曲子、看一部电影,很多人习惯先问它们会产生多少价值,今天让我们和作者一起做一次“生活的体验官”,领略它们有多美。


 


And on that Note

By CURTIS (admitted by Johns Hopkins University)

 

The sound was loud and discordant, like a hurricane, high notes and low notes mixing together in an audible mess. It was as if a thousand booming foghorns were in a shouting match with sirens. Unlike me, this was a little abrasive and loud. I liked it. It was completely unexpected and extremely fun to play.

 

Some instruments are built to make multiple notes, like a piano. A saxophone on the other hand doesn’t play chords but single notes through one vibrating reed. However, I discovered that you can play multiple notes simultaneously on the saxophone. While practicing a concert D-flat scale, I messed up a fingering for a low B-flat, and my instrument produced a strange noise with two notes. My band teacher got very excited and exclaimed, “Hey, you just played a polyphonic note!” I like it when accidents lead to discovering new ideas.

 

I like this polyphonic sound because it reminds me of myself: many things at once. You assume one thing and get another. At school, I am a course scholar in English, but I am also able to amuse others when I come up with wince evoking puns. My math and science teachers expect me to go into engineering, but I’m more excited about making films. Discussing current events with my friends is fun, but I also like to share with them my secrets to cooking a good scotch egg. Even though my last name gives them a hint, the Asian students at our school don’t believe that I’m half Japanese. Meanwhile the non-Asians are surprised that I’m also part Welsh. I feel comfortable being unique or thinking differently. As a Student Ambassador this enables me to help freshman and others who are new to our school feel welcome and accepted. I help the new students know that it’s okay to be themselves.

 

There is added value in mixing things together. I realized this when my brother and I won an international Kavli Science Foundation contest where we explained the math behind the Pixar movie “Up”. Using stop motion animation we explored the plausibility and science behind lifting a house with helium balloons. I like offering a new view and expanding the way people see things. In many of my videos I combine art with education. I want to continue making films that not only entertain, but also make you think.

 

A lot of people have a single passion that defines them or have a natural talent for something specific. Like my saxophone I am an instrument, but I can play many notes at once. I’m a scholar and a musician. Quiet but talkative. An athlete and a filmmaker. Careful but spontaneous. A fan of Johnny Cash and Kill The Noise. Hard working but playful. A martial artist and a baker. One of a kind but an identical twin.

 

Will polyphonic notes resonate in college? Yes. For instance, balancing a creative narrative with scientific facts will make a more believable story. I want to bring together different kinds of students (such as music, film, and English majors) to create more meaningful art. Understanding fellow students’ perspective, talents, and ideas are what build a great community.

 

I’m looking forward to discovering my place in the world by combining various interests. Who I am doesn’t always harmonize and may seem like nothing but noise to some. But what I play, no matter how discordant, can be beautiful. It’s my own unique polyphonic note.



一、生词:

 

1. abrasive /əˈbreɪsɪv/ adj.粗糙的;有研磨作用的;伤人感情的;(声音)刺耳的,难听的

2. siren  /ˈsaɪrən/ n. 汽笛;迷人的女人;歌声动人的女歌手;adj. 迷人的;vi. 响着警报器行驶;vt. 引诱

3. foghorn /ˈfɑːɡhɔːrn/ n.雾角;响而尖的声音;迷失

4. reed /riːd/ n. [作物] 芦苇;簧片;牧笛;不可依靠的人;vt. 用芦苇盖;用芦苇装饰

5. polyphonic /ˌpɑːliˈfɑːnɪk/ adj. 多音的;有韵律变化的;对位法的

6. plausibility /ˌplɔːzəˈbɪləti/ n. 善辩;似乎有理;貌似可信

7. Helium /ˈhiːliəm/n. [化学] 氦 (符号为He,2号元素)

 

二、语言解析:

 

1. “The sound was loud and discordant, like a hurricane, high notes and low notes mixing together in an audible mess. ”

 

like a hurricane”, 比喻,使不可见的声音有了具体的形象。要想实现画面感,除了形容词,恰当的修辞,特别是比喻和暗喻,效果更加显著。

 

2.“Some instruments are built to make multiple notes, like a piano. A saxophone on the other hand doesn’t play chords but single notes through one vibrating reed. However, I discovered that you can play multiple notes simultaneously on the saxophone. ”

 

本句先陈述一般认识,萨克斯风与其他乐器相比,差异是什么。再转折,从自身经验,为萨克斯风的属性重新定义。这一段寥寥数语,却是全方位、多功能:

 

首先,作者以自己的方式解读萨克斯风,连同前一段对萨克斯风演奏状态的描绘,都是尽到了“生活体验官”的本分。文书写任何的兴趣爱好,都要有证据证明,你是这方面的“专家”。是以相关荣誉为证么?不,思想才是最好的证明。

 

第二、本段点明主旨,后文每一段都有相关的句子与“play multiple notes simutaneously”相呼应,形成本篇文书的一条隐线。

 

第三、本段承上启下。从首段演奏状态过度到生活其他方面的探索。

看似最普通的一段,实则奠定文章基调和行文走势,赞!

 

3.While practicing a concert D-flat scale, I messed up a fingering for a low B-flat, and my instrument produced a strange noise with two notes. My band teacher got very excited and exclaimed, “Hey, you just played a polyphonic note!” I like it when accidents lead to discovering new ideas.

 

生活化的细节支撑,可读性强。呈现重要的随机性事件,以印证自己的观点,作者再次证明自己是一名优秀的“体验官”。

 

4.“many things at once. You assume one thing and get another.” 和“There is added value in mixing things together.”

 

第二条解析中提到的“隐线”来了。处处不忘回扣主旨,使文章整体性没有被零散的事例打破。如果你也想采用这样的写法,展现自己的多元生活和丰富体验,千万要注意紧扣主旨。

 

5.The Asian students at our school don’t believe that I’m half Japanese. Meanwhile the non-Asians are surprised that I’m also part Welsh.

 

此句略显突兀,“体验官”此处失职,除点明多元身份外,后续应有一两句细节佐证自己在不同文化中毫无违和感,会更加流畅。

 

6.“I help the new students know that it’s okay to be themselves.”和“I like offering a new view and expanding the way people see things.

 

上价值!“体验官”的职责当然是传播好的生活理念。文书的大部分篇幅是描写自己的成长,但是招生如同招聘,大学要录取的不是独自绽放、孤芳自赏的一枝独秀,而是晕染满园的爬山虎。所以,要记得让你的文书飞起。

 

7.I realized this when my brother and I won an international Kavli Science Foundation contest where we explained the math behind the Pixar movie “Up”.

 

细节到位,才配做“首席体验官”。一些学生在描述自己过往人生的时候,从记事起,短短十余年时光,却已往事随风,往事如烟。很多人描述和作者一样的contest, 可能也只记得是an international Kavli Science Foundation contest, 再追文细节,便是翻找邮箱里的赛事流程。其实文书的准备工作,远远早于申请递交前的几个月。所以,找回自己的枝枝蔓蔓吧,愿申请季到来时,你已枝繁叶茂。

 

8.Will polyphonic notes resonate in college? Yes. For instance, balancing a creative narrative with scientific facts will make a more believable story.

 

有始有终,始于音乐,终于音乐。首尾呼应的同时,这里的“polyphonic notes”已然是一个暗喻。作者能为大学带去的又何止是音乐?

 

9.I want to bring together different kinds of students (such as music, film, and English majors) to create more meaningful art. Understanding fellow students’ perspective, talents, and ideas are what build a great community.

 

文书没有固定的格式,文书末尾喊话大学不是所有文书的必要格式。但是一位思想跳脱、热情奔放的“体验官”向你“营销”自己,这谁能挺得住?

 

特别鸣谢江博留学文书顾问王莹老师


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